Blue
by Truenos
Summary: AU:DH slash Harry has spent his entire life in the foster home system. His last hope comes by the name of Hogwarts Boys Home. With the help of a new friend he learns how long the road to recovery is
1. Chapter 1

Title: Blue Author: Truenos Disclaimer: I'm borrowing them Warning: Mentions of abuse and slash H/D

Summary: Harry has spent his life moving through different foster homes. His godfather is an on and off part of his life. When things seem to hit rock bottom for Harry he is given one last chance to change. This means leaving everything he knows behind. While living at Hogwarts Boys Home, Harry meets Draco and Severus. For the first time Harry has people who care for him. Will that be enough to change of life of loneliness.

The breeze was cool and crisp, blowing leaves gently around swings and under the slides. It was a cool night in Surrey. A pale moon shown gentle down on a raven haired teenager. He was slowly rocking back and forth on a swing back and forth while staring out into the night sky. Distantly the sound of an occasional passing car could be heard.

The teen made sure to choose a swing that was furthest from the dull yellow street lamp. It really wouldn't do him any good to have security or some neighborhood watch catching him at the park after hours. Then again it was only a matter of time until he was found.

This was Harry Potters life.

At only a year old Harry's parents had died in a car accident. Every one who had seen the accident swore that it was a miracle that little Harry even survived. Harry didn't always agree. After the death of his parents, he was put into the custody of his mother's sister Petunia.

That had lasted barely two years. Petunia and her husband Vernon had a son named Dudley and unfortunately for Harry, that was all they needed. The little emerald eyed baby was living on borrowed time at Privet Drive. When Harry was barely three years old he was given to the next person in line.

Lilly and James, Harry's parents, had named their best friend Sirius Black Harry's godfather. The three had grown up together and had remained close even after school. It was Sirius that got custody of little Harry after his aunt gave him up. For the first year everything seemed to be going fairly well. 

Harry smiled as he recalled the distant memories of trips to the zoo and parks similar to the one he found himself in at the moment. Sirius was every bit the loving parent Harry desperately craved after the Dursleys.

As much as Sirius loved Harry he could not deny that the death of his best friends had seriously affected him. Even when they were younger Sirius had been a trouble maker. Without his two comrades Sirius tended to get in with bad company.

His depression slowly worsened and with it came alcohol and eventually drugs. By the time Harry was seven the house he lived in with Sirius was nothing but a dump filled with drug paraphernalia and the like. 

Despite his bad habits Sirius still loved Harry and to Harry, he was a hero, his one constant in a chaotic life. Unfortunately Child Welfare Services did not feel the same way. After to many absences at school a social worker arrived at Sirius' house and Harry was taken away. 

The first foster home Harry was in only lasted two weeks before he ran away. He had only been trying to get home to Sirius.

The second didn't like the fact he had a nasty habit of hoarding things that belonged to others. After he stole his foster mothers diamond bracelet he was returned to Cherish Home. He spent his eighth birthday in the crowded group home listening to his two room mates arguing over a card game.

It was while he was at his third foster home that Sirius was granted permission by the courts to attain custody of Harry again. With a happy heart, Harry left the Shelton household ready to go home. 

For the first couple months everything went smoothly. Sirius went to all of his rehab classes and even held a steady job while Harry finished his third year of school. This time disaster came by the name Alice. Sirius had met her at work and they had clicked. Alice really liked Sirius but Harry was excess baggage.

It wasn't long till Sirius was pulled back into the party scene. Harry found himself locked in his room on several occasions listening to the loud voices of Sirius' friends getting smashed out of their minds. No matter how often this happened though, Sirius always came to him when they all left.

He would hold Harry close, calming his fears and the two would fall asleep. One party got to rough and some one who wasn't Sirius got into little Harry's room and proceeded to beat him nearly to death. Sirius got Harry to the hospital but that didn't change the fact that he failed his drug test. Harry was once again removed. It took a long time for all his broken bones to heal.

That wasn't the last time Harry would be hit. In the years to come two of the foster homes he was placed in were rather violent. By the time Harry was fourteen he had lived in eighteen different foster homes and four group homes. Now when they placed him at a home they were lucky if he lasted two weeks before the home returned him or he ran away. It was to the point where group homes simply would no longer take him.

When people imagine fostering a child, they think of wonderful little children, with perfect little chubby faces living happily in their home. Harry smirked at the thought. The fact is most of the children had serious issues and could not just go about being all happy.

In Harry's case he had a nasty habit of stealing. In between bouncing from foster home to Sirius to foster home to group home Harry had also gained a few other habits that his counselor deemed 'destructive'. It kept him sane so he didn't really see the problem.

Now at sixteen years old Harry found himself swinging in a park in the middle of the night waiting to be found. Only an hour ago he had been trying to sneak back into to his latest foster home. Mr. Jenkins and his wife had adopted two other boys and Harry was their latest addition. 

They had told Harry to stay in for the night but Harry had other plans. The party he went to was just the kind of relief he had been looking for. He had left early hoping to sneak in but luck as usual evaded him. 

Mr. Jenkins had been sitting on Harry's bed when he crawled through the window. Harry could see anger and disappointment written clearly on his face. What followed was a nasty row and Harry jumping back out the window and into the night. He hadn't had time to grab any of his belongings which were few in number. It would have been nice to have a jacket. Instead all Harry had were some loose fitting jeans, rundown sneakers, and a black t-shirt. Definitely not the ideal outfit for late October.

The sound of tires on gravel alerted him to the fact that his hiding spot had been discovered. He heard a car door shut but didn't bother turning around. Slowly the steady beat of a person walking drew near.

"Kinda cold out here, don't you think?" It wasn't the voice of Mr. Jenkins but of Remus Lupin, his case worker. Gently Remus placed a coat over Harry's shoulders. Harry was grateful for the small relief but he still didn't speak.

"You can't keep running off like this."

"I just wanted to hang out with some friends." 

"Harry, sixteen year old boys shouldn't be out at two in the morning and I doubt anything you did tonight was legal." Harry chose not to comment.

"Would it kill you to give some of these people a chance."

"They don't want me." He replied in a soft voice.

"They wanted to help you."

"I don't need help." This time it was Remus who didn't comment.

"I didn't mean to break the rules. I just wanted to see my friends." Harry looked up a Remus. The man had become his case worker when he was ten. Harry really liked the way he didn't judge him like most adults did. He was the only adult other than Sirius that Harry trusted.

"Are you going to take me back"  
"I'm afraid you won't be returning to the Jenkins." Harry closed his eyes. Really he shouldn't be surprised. 

"You can see Sirius tomorrow." At this Harry brightened.

"Thought you would like that." The two stood and made their way to Remus' gold Volvo. No more words were spoken that night. It was in a comfortable silence that the two drove back to Cherish Home. Tomorrow he would see Sirius, that was what mattered. 


	2. When You're Lonely

Title: Blue Author: Truenos Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 1: When Your Lonely

Harry was still adjusting to life at Cherish Home. He had only lived here for three weeks before he was sent of to the Jenkins. It was meant for teenagers more than the early adolescents in foster care. In short that meant this is where you were put when adoption really wasn't an option any longer. Sure it was never outright said that no one wanted to adopt a teenager but the fact was it was much easier to raise a child than to fix a grown one.

Cherish Home was a lot stricter than many of the homes he had been at. Every thing was on a set schedule from meals to homework to free time. Hell, even in Harry's free time there were schedules to abide by.

During the week he had school, though it was a lost cause on him. He never really put the effort into learning when all he did was constantly switch schools. Now at sixteen, the troubled teen was two full school years behind and still dropping. After his school classes he had a variety of rehabilitation classes ranging from alcohol to stealing.

Today would be a good day though, Harry decided as he sat on his small bed. It was eight in the morning and if this were a usual day he would be hastily trying to finish some assignment he had neglected to do. He wouldn't have to deal with stupid lessons today because he was going with Remus to see Sirius.

Slowly he set his feet down on the cool floor and shuddered at the uncomfortable cold that seemed to seep into his feet. His room was small but he was grateful as he no longer had to have a room mate. Roommates were fun when you were ten but at sixteen there was a need for privacy that seemed impossible to attain in a group home. 

His room consisted of his small bed, a dresser, and a beat up desk. He didn't bother to set out any of his personal items because he would only be packing them back up soon. Remus had told him that unpacking his things would help him adjust and gain a sense of belonging in his new home. Harry argued back that Cherish Home was not where he belonged and neither were the other places they forced him into. He didn't want to belong there. He belonged with Sirius, that was his home, and he would save his unpacking for when he was finally there.

He pulled on the jeans he had worn the night before along with the same shirt. He grabbed his green hoodie before leaving his room. Walking down the hall way he noticed that several of the doors not to far from his own were open and inside employees of Cherish Home were doing searches for contraband and the like.

Harry looked back at his door making a mental list of the items he knew would be found. He was about to turn back to his room when a steely voice made him halt in his steps.

"Breakfast is the other way Mr. Potter." Harry rolled his eyes before turning to face Mrs. Smith. She was the founder of Cherish Home. Her goal was to completely rehabilitate all the teens that came through her door. Harry hated her.

"I forgot something in my room."

"I'm sure you did Potter, but I am more than confident that it will be found when your room is searched." She smiled her stupid smile and Harry couldn't help the irritation that swept through him. "After breakfast I would like you to go to the nurses office to be tested."

"Remus is actually coming to get me." Harry smirked at that. It wouldn't mean he wouldn't have to be drug tested but it did at least mean a delay in Smith's perfect little schedule.

"And why is he picking you up when you have lessons today."

"I get to visit Sirius, he is getting out soon." At this Mrs. Smith visible scowled. Part of her rehabilitation program was that the teens that went through her home were to be sent to houses that shared her mind set. Sirius, a rehabilitated alcoholic and drug user, was not her idea of a perfect home. 

"I expect you to be in the nurses office by 4 this afternoon. I'm sure they will have gone through your room by then and we will have plenty to talk about." With that she spun on one of her pointy black heels and left nose high in the air.

"Hag" Harry muttered under his breath before continuing on to the meal room. It consisted of three long tables. At the front of the room was the line to stand in to get a tray. It was like eating in a school cafeteria. Harry picked up his tray before moving to sit by one of his few friends in foster care, Seamus.

"Only you can piss Smith off after only being here for less than a day." Harry smiled at him before taking a bite of his eggs.

"Not my fault she has it out for me," Seamus smirked at that.

"So how was that family you were with?"

"Amusing" At Seamus' questioning glance Harry continued.

"They were certain that they could... what did they say... oh yeah, 'save me' from the pit I had fallen in. The dad had a talk with me every night and everyday I had to write in this stupid little book about how I was becoming a better person and what not. The other two boys were already brainwashed. They wanted me to join Boy Scouts or somethin."

They both laughed at the thought.

"Sucks about the search today." 

"I haven't even got a chance to hide anything yet, it's all still in my bag." Harry glowered at this. Even Seamus looked a little sad.

"I don't think they'll find anything in my room, I've figured out where they don't look." They were silent for a while both finishing what was on their tray. Seamus like Harry had spent his entire life in the foster care system.

He was taller than Harry and had a thick Irish accent. Unlike Harry, Seamus was a pack rat and his room was full of items he had collected from his various homes. His room was one of the more difficult to search because of all the items so he was able to hide more.

Another similarity between the two was their coping mechanisms, primarily being drugs. Neither were proud of their dependence on any of the substances but you had to do some things to survive. That was life.

"You ready to go to class?" Harry looked up at the dark haired teen.

"Don't have to today, Remus is coming to get me."

"You suck." Harry laughed. "I'll see you tonight then." With that Seamus stood, dropped off his tray then proceeded toward the barracks outside where all the lessons were being held.

Harry sat for a while longer munching on a small pastry. All he had in his pack were some cigarettes and some coke. There wasn't even twenty dollars worth of the cocaine but it would be enough for Smith to really lay into him. Perhaps this day wasn't so good after all.

"You ready to go Harry?" The voice surprised him. Harry whipped his head around to see Remus standing behind him twirling his key ring on his finger.

"Definitely!" Harry stood dumping his own tray then following Remus out of Cherish Home.

"Everything working alright here?" The question was asked gently but Harry could tell Remus was asking more.

"Same as always, Smith is already on my back. I have a drug test this evening and they are searching rooms today."

"Mrs. Smith keeps a tight house. Its for your own good you know." Harry wisely chose to keep his mouth shut and instead turned the conversation to more neutral topics.

The drive toward the Surrey Jail House went by fairly quickly. Remus and Harry talked about movies and other trivial topics. When Harry noticed how close they were he got quiet and Remus didn't push for more conversation.

It had been nearly five months since Harry had last seen Sirius and his insides were squirming something awful. He hardly took notice as Remus spoke to the officer at the front desk nor did he focus to much when both he and Remus were patted down. His mind was spinning trying to remember every thing to tell Sirius. He was broken out of thought when Remus tapped him on the shoulder.

"You have fifteen minutes. They have only told him he is having a visitor so you can surprise him. I'll be waiting right here ok?." Harry nodded slowly and turned to make his way to the booth he was directed to.

A thick pane of glass separated him from where Sirius would sit. The butterflies in his stomach only got worse as he saw a guard leading his godfather towards him. Sirius' head was down so he didn't notice Harry until he was nearly seated. The smile on his godfathers face was enough to calm Harry's frazzled nerves. Together they picked up the phone that would allow them to speak.

"Harry, God it's good to see yah!"

"Hi Siri," Sirius smiled at the nickname.

"You look so grown up."

"It hasn't been that long you know" Harry said smiling.

"Feels like forever when your in here," they both grimaced. "How have you been?"

"Ok, I'm staying at this new place. Can't say I like it to much, but it's temporary so nothing to worry about, right?"

"Right." Harry smiled, his emerald eyes glittering with the hope of finally getting to go home. They chatted about some of the places Harry had stayed, laughing at some of the families strange antics. Harry told Sirius all about the evil Mrs. Smith and Sirius told him about a professor he used to have that was just like her.

"I miss you so much," the teen's voice shook, "but you're getting out soon right? Then you can come and get me." Harry was so intent on the question that he didn't notice the pause before Sirius' answer.

The convict looked at his godson, whom was holding the phone so securely it was like it was his life line. He didn't miss the hope brimming in the emerald eyes nor the desperation in his voice. 

"Of course I'll come get you. I can't live with out my heart." Harry placed his hand up against the glass in front of him. Sirius raised his as well placing it against the glass. Harry wished it would just disappear and that Sirius could hold him and tell him everything would be alright.

"We'll change. I know we can do it all right this time! I won't mess up, I promise." Harry spoke these words in a reverent tone.

"Harry you are perfect, it was never you messing things up!" The guard appeared behind Sirius' shoulder and Harry could tell that their time was up. "I have to go kiddo, but I'll be seeing you real soon." Harry nodded and both moved their hand from the glass. 

"See you soon."

Harry turned to see Remus but was surprised to see the man glaring at Sirius. He turned back to his godfather to see he looked rather ashamed.

"Remus?" The sandy haired man snapped his attention to the teen in front of him. 

"Let's go Harry." Harry was surprised at the usually soft spoken man's tone. With one last look at Sirius, Harry followed Remus out of the jail and back to his car. Before Harry could question the man's odd behavior, Remus was offering lunch. Eager to eat at a place where the food didn't come on a tray, Harry let the question slide.

He figured he might as well enjoy what was left of his afternoon because this evening was surely going to be bad.

A. N. I can't remember what movie had the line about "I can't live without my heart" but I figured I should mention it 


	3. The Definition of Sacrifice

Chapter 3: The Definition of Sacrifice

Harry wasn't surprised to see the entourage awaiting his arrival at Cherish Home. He wasn't surprised when Mrs. Smith informed Remus that it was necessary to stay for a meeting. Hell, Harry wasn't surprised that an officer was waiting just inside Mrs. Smith's office.

"Mr. Lupin, It saddens me that we even have to have this meeting. I truly believed that Harry was getting better." That was always how Smith talked. She described Harry's habits as if they were a disease.

Harry noticed the glance Remus gave him, silently asking what this could be about. Harry just averted his eyes. Remus would be disappointed in him, but he couldn't change that now.

"If the two of you would sit down," Smith gestured towards two chairs in front of her desk. The officer stood at the door as if guarding it. Harry rolled his eyes at the effort, he wasn't dumb enough to attempt an escape.

"Earlier today Mr. Lupin we had room inspections."

"Yes, Harry mentioned it." Remus' tone was neutral but Harry could see he was slightly tense.

"Yes, well, when Harry's room was inspected we found several items that are considered contraband in Cherish Home." 

"And what were these items?"

"We found two weapons, knives, as well as a container of alcohol. The thing that concerned us the most however was the small bag of cocaine." The office was silent after this declaration. Harry kept his head down. He was an idiot for not hiding it the second he had gotten to his room but he hadn't thought they would do a room check so quickly.

"As you know Remus, we can only do so much here."

"Of course, were any others caught?"

"Only one other charge of yours was found in possesion of contraband. The other two boys are Mary Olson's.

"Seamus?"

"Yes." Harry was surprised that Seamus had gotten got. He was usually the lucky one of the group.

"Do you have anything to say about this Harry?" Remus asked the question as if Harry had a plausible argument against the allegations.

"So I guess I'm off to the next house right?" His tone was bitter with a razor edge to it.

"Don't take that tone with Mr. Lupin, Harry!"

"Or what? You can't do a damn thing about it!" He stood quickly from his chair, daring the old hag to say another word.

"Sit down, Harry." Remus's gentle tone did nothing to abate Harry's agitation. 

"I don't want to!"

"You will do as your told!" Smith screeched. Harry just glared at her.

Harry noticed the officer was approaching him.

"Don't fucking come near me!" The officer looked surprised at Harry's yelling.

"Mrs. Smith, might I have a moment alone to speak with Harry?" Smith nodded apprehensively.

"I don't want to talk to you!" 

Smith and the officer both left the room closing the door behind them.

"Calm down Harry, I just want to talk." Harry's breathing was coming faster and he couldn't stop his hands from shaking. The pale yellow walls of Smith's office were making him sick. He noticed Remus had stood and was slowly approaching him.

"Sit down." The sandy haired man pressed gently down on Harry's arms, guiding him down to his seat.

"I don't want to go to another home Remus." He didn't want to go to another family. He didn't want to go through feeling like an awkward outsider. He didn't want to feel unwanted again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mess up again. You know I didn't." His voice was shaking.

Remus took a deep breathe. To Harry he looked like he was trying to decide what to say. His social worker still exuded a calm sense despite how strung up Harry was. 

"Harry I was recently notified of a place that would like both you and Seamus to live there. It is run by an old friend of mine."

"I don't want to go."

"It's a nice place Harry, called Hogwarts. I really think you both would like it. It's also not in this city, so you could get away from all these old influences."

"NO!"

"You can't keep living like this Harry! It's not healthy."

"Sirius is getting out of jail at the end of this week Remus, then he is going to come and get me and we are going to be just fine!" Harry glared at the man, daring him to say other wise.

"Please Harry, just consider the option. You keep saying you want a fresh start, a place to belong! Here is your chance!"

"I belong with Sirius, we don't need you!" The conversation ended there. Remus sighed and left the room. Nearly five minutes later Harry was collected and taken to his room. It was even more bare than when he had left this morning.

He crossed the room and flopped down on the bed. He wouldn't go to dinner tonight, what he needed was sleep. He drifted off to the thoughts of Sirius impending freedom and what it would bring.

Remus Lupin rubbed his eyes getting the last of sleep out of them. His coffee didn't taste nearly strong enough for what he had planned today. With ease he drove his small car through morning traffic while he thought carefully about his upcoming meeting.

Remus took his job as a social worker very seriously. The boys he represented were victims and he was one of the few that stood for them. No one else was willing to work intensely with troublesome and sometimes dangerous teenagers.

Harry had become his charge seven years prior. At the time the emerald eyed boy had been bruised and broken and not willing to trust anyone aside from his convict godfather. Remus had met with Sirius many times. The man loved his godson with all his heart but he had his own demons to deal with and could not also responsibly care for a child.

Over the years Harry had learned to trust Remus and it was a gift Remus did not take lightly. He did everything in his power to help his charges toward a better future.

It was this hope that had him driving toward the city jail house for the second time this week. His job was to make the decisions he felt best for the adolescent. In this case he knew that Hogwarts was exactly what Harry needed though the boy would hardly agree.

Sirius had told him yet again that everything would be fine. It would be... for a time. Then, just like every other time Harry was placed in his godfather's custody, Sirius would begin to fall apart. He like his godson needed help, the kind of help you could not receive while taking care of a child who had his own addictions to battle.

Remus would be damned if he had to pick up the pieces Harry was left in after Sirius broke his heart again. He parked as close to the door as possible then proceeded across the crowded lot towards the reception office.

"How can I help you sir?" The woman at the desk didn't bother to look up as she shuffled through various forms on her desk.

"I had an appointment to speak with inmate S. Black."

"Name?"

"Remus Lupin."

"Here you are. Black is already waiting so if you'll follow Officer Brody, he will escort you back." Remus nodded and followed the young cadet to the visiting room he had been in just the day before with Harry. Just as the woman had said Sirius was waiting. Remus took a breath and got ready for the difficult conversation.

They both picked up the telephones that would allow them to speak. Remus could tell that Sirius was confused that he was his visitor.

"Lupin."

"Sirius."

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Remus could easily detect the sarcasm in Black's voice.

"I'm here to discuss Harry and his future." Black instantly became more guarded.

"I get out of here in a week, what is there to discuss?"

"You see Harry has been given a special opportunity. Hogwarts Boys Home has accepted him and is willing to help him get on his feet."

"Sound smashing, but like I said I'm outta here in a week."

"Sirius this is an opportunity that Harry can't afford to loose."

"He'll be just fine with me!"

"For how long Sirius! While you've been in here Harry has had no one to turn to. He has developed some of your own nasty habits." Sirius visibly recoiled at this.

"What?"

"He has gotten himself in to drugs as well as drinking, it's his way of coping."

"How bad is he?"

"He can still be helped. Hogwarts can help him!"

"And I can't." It wasn't so much a question. Sirius's eyes looked clouded and Remus saw that his argument was finally going some where.

"I know you love him Black and I have no doubt that you would do anything to help him. That is why I'm here."

"You want me to let him go." Black eyes rose to meet Remus's own. Slowly he nodded. "It will break his heart."

"For a while, but you will save his life."

"Is he really that bad off?"

"The drinking and drugs are not the main issue. He has a tendency to harm himself when emotions get to much for him. He has bad outbursts too."

"God, he doesn't deserve this."

"No, he doesn't."

"And this Hogwarts place, it'll help him."

"I'm positive."

"Will I be able to see him again?"

"Perhaps, in time, when he is better."

"I guess that is going to have to be enough. I know its selfish but I don't want to let him go." Remus gave him a sad smile.

"I know you will do the right thing Sirius." And Remus knew he would. 


	4. The Concept of Betrayal

Chapter 4: The Concept of Betrayal

Harry's week passed by in a blur of annoyance and hostility. Smith had been furious to learn that she would be forced to house Harry for another week. To make matters worse he had no one at Cherish Home to talk to confide in any longer. Remus had also given Seamus a chance to go to Hogwarts Boys Home and surprisingly enough the teen had agreed.

Harry was left at Cherish Home to await the release of his godfather. Smith forced him to attend all of his lessons plus some he hadn't even signed up for. After his lessons she shipped him off with one of the workers to a Rehab clinic. 

He had a different meeting to attend everyday that week. Harry remained impassive in the meetings, down right refusing to participate in any of the discussion. By Friday Harry was about to go mental and cause a scene that would have Smith regretting the day she had admitted him.

Thankfully his fit was deterred by the appearance of his social worker. Remus came Friday evening to inform Harry that Sirius' court date would be Saturday morning and custody would be handled there.

Harry had been so happy about the news that he didn't notice the sad look on the adults face nor did he pay much attention when Remus left saying he would be back in the morning. That night seemed to drag on longer than any other evening in his life.

He could hardly eat a thing at dinner because his nerves were shooting through the roof. Sleeping was impossible, so Harry chose to pack the few belongings he did have. Smith and her cohorts had gotten rid of more than just his stash. The had also felt it necessary to get rid of some of his more beat up clothing. They hadn't bothered to get him anything to replace what they had gotten rid of.

Once he was completely packed Harry paced around the room. He couldn't help but think about where he and Sirius would live or if his godfather would force him to attend school and that such nonsense.

Finally at three in the morning the teen fell into a restless sleep. Despite his late night he had little trouble waking up at six. He rushed through his shower and dragged his small bag to the waiting room of Cherish Home. There he sat, anxiously awaiting Remus's arrival.

It seemed like hours he waited for Remus's Volvo to pull into the lot. It took even longer for the social worker to sign him out and get Harry's bag in the car. Harry was ecstatic by the time they were on their way to the court house.

Remus didn't bother to try and distract the teen with conversation. He could tell that Harry was miles away, his thoughts revolving solely around his godfather.

While it had seemed to take forever for the night to go by, the time before they would enter the court seemed to fly. Harry found himself unable to sit still in his seat as two guards led Sirius in. Harry smiled brightly at the man who meant so much to him, yet Sirius barely met his eyes. Confused Harry looked to Remus, yet he too seemed to be avoiding his eyes. 

Harry was stopped from questioning by the judges voice.

"We are hear to discuss the release of Sirius Black and his custodial rights in regards to, Minor Harry James Potter. Mr. Black if you would stand." Harry watched as Sirius stood.

"Mr. Black the court has deemed you eligible for early release due to good behavior. You have served the minimum time for the crime in which you were found guilty. Do you understand Mr. Black that should you be found in possession of any narcotics you will be returned to jail and force to serve full time."

"Yes sir."

"Mr. Black, do you understand that upon conclusion of this hearing you will have a parole officer which you will meet and discuss any provisions on your freedom?"

"Yes sir."

"Mr. Black do you understand that violation of your parole will be punished by returning to prison?"

"Yes sir."

"Then this court pronounces Mr. Sirius Black free and on parole for two years time. Now I understand that there is a custody issue." At this Sirius' lawyer stood and Harry watched as his godfather's head lowered.

"Your honor, my client has decided that it would be within the minor's best interest for him to relinquish custody completely." Harry's heart stopped.

"Is this true Mr. Black?" Harry stared at Sirius, silently begging him to contradict his stupid lawyer. The man honestly had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yes." Remus grabbed his arm but he hardly noticed.

"Then it is the decision of this court that Harry James Potter is now a ward of the state and Sirius Black no longer holds any custodial rights. Court Dismissed." The sound of the gavel falling broke Harry out of his daze. He was out of his seat before Remus could even stop him.

"Sirius!" Harry yelled, yet the man didn't turn. "Damn it Sirius!"

Finally his godfather turned to face him. Harry had pushed his way through the people that stood between him and his godfather.

"What are you doing! Why are you doing this!" Harry hardly recognized the desperation in his voice. It seemed to have the affect he wanted, as Sirius finally looked at him.

"Harry you need to calm down," Sirius began.

"NO I WON'T!" Harry's yelling had caused most in the court room to stop and watch.

"Listen to me Harry, this is for the best." The teen couldn't understand how Sirius could act so calm. Didn't he understand what had just happened. Didn't he know that he was about to loose him.

"No..."

"I need to get better Harry and I can't do that while I take care of you." The comment hurt worse than any slap ever had.

"I can help you! Remember we can help each other!" Harry could hear the terror joining the desperation in his voice but he didn't care at the moment. He had to get Sirius to remember his promise.

"I can't take care of you, Harry you deserve so much better than I can give you." It sounded like Sirius truly believed that.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me!" Sirius kneeled down in front of him placing his hands gently on his face. One look at his eyes and Harry was certain that Sirius was about to take back everything he had just said. He would tell the judge this was all a misunderstanding and he would take Harry home.

"Harry, you know I love you more than anything else in this world. Your parents were my best friends and I am so blessed that I have had you. I don't know where I would be if it weren't for you." Harry nodded at this and Sirius's eyes got watery. Harry was surprised that his godfather like him was fighting off tears. 

Sirius never cried. He hadn't cried when Harry's parents had died. He hadn't cried when he was taken to jail. Harry had never seen the man cry.

"That's why I have to do this Harry. I want you to have everything in life, but I can't give it to you. I'm not even sure if I can take care of myself."

"Sirius...please...stop" His voice was sounded choked.

"Remus is going to take you to a new place, where you can really start over."

"Don't leave me! I need you." Harry gave up fighting back his tears and allowed them to fall freely down his face.

"Mr. Black, we need you to finish signing the paperwork." The lawyer sounded quiet and hesitant.

"Go away! He doesn't need any of that shit!" 

"Come on Harry, It's time to go." Remus was beginning to pull him away. He was pulling him away from Sirius. 

"Don't let them take me! Sirius, please!" Harry's voice shook with broken sobs. He tried to fight against Remus but he was to weak. His broken sobs seemed to echo in the all to quiet court room.

"I'm so sorry." With that Sirius Black turned and left his godson's life. 


End file.
